IF RELATIONS BETWEEN HUSBAND AND WIFE GO SOAR BITTER AND BROKEN TO SUCH AN EXTENT, THAT THERE DOESN’T SEEM RETURN IN ANY MANNER WHATSOEVER EFFORTS ARE MADE, THEN WHAT IS THE ANSWER, IS THE BIGGEST QUESTION, WHICH NEEDS AN ANSWER. ANSWERS; 1. first and foremost is to analyse what went wrong and and what are those causes which have created wounds so hard and deep, that there doesn’t seem any return. 2. once the causes are analysed, it gets essential to check whether these are due to ego, jealousies, suspicion, respective families problems, change to habits and association, having got entangled with someone else in personal interests and perhaps for happiness etc. 3. perhaps these are not there except that one or both are adamant and want the other partner to go by silently and obediently what the 1st partner is saying. 4. sometime properties, assets also pose an unreturnable problem 5. children and relations how to behave, both differ, dispute and fight to claim that he/she is right and there is no reason o get to compromise. NO DOUBT THAT ALL SUCH HAPPENINGS ARE NOT ONLY DISTURBING ONES BUT WITH ALL LIKELIHOOD, THESE TEND AND LEAD TO A BREAK, RESULTING IN ACCUSATIONS AND DRAGGING EACH ONE INTO THE COURTS ETC. I THINK AND REFLECT AS TO WHAT GAIN ALL SUCH ISSUES CITED ABOVE BRING IN LIFE, COULD THERE NOT BE COMPROMIS, UNDERSTANDING AND ACCEPTANCE OF EACH OTHER AS EACH ONE IS. IN REPLY I FEEL FIRST AND MOST IMPORTANT IS TRUST IN RELATIONSHIP, TRUST IN GOAL AS TO WHY BOTH GOT MARRIED WHETHER THAT GOAL IS ACCOMPLISHED AND AS SUCH THERE IS NO NEED TO TOLERATE AND ACCEPT EACH OTHER AND LIVE IN REGRETFUL SITUATION ALWAYS OR IN THE MEANTIME EGO IN ONE OR BOTH HAS GOT CEMENTED AND THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO CONCEDE AND TOLERATE IN ANY MANNER. THERE IS NO DOUBT THAT THESE ARE THE REALITIES OF LIFE AND ARE THE HAPPENINGS OF EVERY DAY ALMOST IN EACH AND EVERY COUPLE IN ONE FORM OR THE OTHER. IT MAY HAPPEN IN SOME IN THE EARLY STAGES WHILE IN OTHERS AT A LATER STAGE, THERE IS NO DOUBT HONEY MOON LUST GETS REDUCED SLOWLY AND SLOWLY AND MOST OF THE ABOVE CITED ISSUES OVERTAKE THE SO-CALLED LUST OF LOVE. WHEN SUCH A SITUATION HAPPENS, WISDOM IS WASHED OFF EGO, JEALOURSIES, ACCUSATIONS, FIGHTS TAKE THEIR TURN AND BECOME MOST IMPORTANT IN EXACTING REVENGE BY ALL MEANS. NOW THE QUESTION ARISES, AS TO WHAT SHOULD BE DONE SO THAT SUCH A SITUATION DOES NOT HAPPEN: IN REPLY IT IS ESSENTIAL: 1. ESSENTIAL TO REFLECT AS TO WHAT SHALL I GAIN BY SUCH A BEHAVIOUR OF EGO, SELF ESTEEM, REMAINING ADAMANT AND FORCING THE PARTNER TO ACCEPT MYSELF AS I AM, ACCEPT WHAT I THINK, HOW I BEHAVE, IN WHAT SORT OF FREEDOM I WANT TO LIVE IN AND ENJOY. 2. IF AT ALL I DECIDE TO BREAK, COULD I EVER MANAGE TO LIVE ALONE AND REMAIN HAPPY, IF NOT, AT LEAST BETTER THAN THE PRESENT ONE. 3. IF NOT, IS THERE ANY CERTAINTY, THAT THE 2ND WILL BE BETTER THAN THE PRESENT ONE. 4. HOW WILL I FACE THE SOCIETY, FAMILY, AND HOW MUCH I WILL BE VULNERABLE TO EXPLOITATION WHILE BEING ALONE. MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL THESE, IT NEEDS TO SIT ALONE, PUT ONESELF IN A CALM MOOD AND ATMOSPHERE TO THINK AS TO BY ALL SUCH ATTITUDES AND BEHAVIOUS CITED ABOVE WHAT HAVE I GAINED, THE ANSWER IN MOST OF THE CASES WILL COME ABOUT: 1. LOSS OF HEALTH 2. AFFECTING AND DISTURBING THE LIFE OF THE CHILDREN 3. DISTURBING THE FAMILY, ETC. ETC. 4. SHOULD I NOT ACCEPT THE SITUATION AS IT IS AS MY DESTINY AND DO ALL TO MANAGE WITH IT. 5. WHY SHOULD I FORCE MY PARTNER TO MOULD HIMSELF/HERSELF AS I WANT WHAT RIGHT I HAVE GOT TO DICTATE MY COURSE OF ACTION AND THINING, WHY SHOULDN’T I MOULD MYSELF TO ADJUST WITH MY PARTNER. 6. HAVE WITH SUCH A BEHAVIOUR I GAINED ANYTHING, PERHAPS NOTHING, EXCEPT EGO, MY SELF ESTEEM, MY DIGNITY, AND IN CONSEQUENCE, I HAVE LOST NOT ONLY ALL HAPPINESS BUT HAVE GOT ENGAGED AND ENTANGLED IN WORRIES AND WORIES OF ALL SORTS, NO INTEREST IN WORK, NO INTEREST IN MEETING AND ENJOYING WITH OTHERS. TENDING TO REMAIN ALOOF TO MYSELF ETC. IN FACT. SUCH A SITUATION IS FACED BY MOST OF THE EMBITTERED PARTNER, BUT WHAT STOPS THEM NOT TO ENGAGE IN DIALOGUE, THE MAIN CAUSE REMAINS EGO AND IF SUCH AN INITIATIVE I TAKE, I WILL ALWAYS BE MADE TO ACCEPT WHATEVER MY PARTNER WILL SAY AND TAKE MY INITIATIVE AS MY WEAKNESS AND SHALL EXPLOIT ME THE MOST, CREATING PERHAPS WORST CONDITION THAN IT IS AT PRESENT. HOW TO TACKLE SUCH A SITUATION. I SHALL GET INTO ANSWERS IN MY NEXT WRITE-UP. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. Written by vasdevloond,founder of marriage guidance new concept, cost free marriage bureau, Vasdevloond can be available and contacted at 9811943867 vasdeviiibd@gmailcom