03 September 2020 06:54

MOTHER-IN-LAW'S AND DAUGHTER-IN-LAW'S FEUDS.. WHY? Mother in law expects that 1. she will be praised and that she will be given more than matching gifts, especially wears and jewellery. 2. she is so much burdened with work as all males in the family and even daughters go to work and for all these she is to get up early and arrange breakfast and perhaps lunch for each one,so that everyone leaves at a specified time. This creates besides burden of work, TENSION that she is to get up early and ensure that breakfast is at table at the time specified irrespective of whether she is tired,is in a good mood or not, to get up and avoid enjoying a longer sleep etc. 3. expects daughter-in-law despite the fact that she is working or not, to SHARE HER BURDEN and that she helps her at her will and in the manner she desires and dictates. 4. expects that the daughter-in-law will assist her, share her grievances, grudges etc., give her a patient hearing and do all as she wants/commands. etc. etc. DAUGHTER-IN-LAW: 1. soon after marriage, will be in slumber and would to like rest and take a longer sleep, while the mother-i-law expects her to be one who gets up earlier than others and takes care of the requirements of her husbands and other members of the family going to work. 2. daughter-in-law feels compelled between the husband and the mother in-law to take care of both, which generally does not happen, she prefers to sleep longer and take care of the requirements of her husband. 3. daughter-in-law entry to the new environments,unknown members of the family, each one in his/her manners and attitudes, hardly one or two to appreciate while many are there to find fault in her and her family. 4. daughter in-law as she is uprooted from family and friends finds herself alone, does not know whom to talk, what to talk, how her conversation, manners and behaviour will be appreciated or not, generally decides to remain aloof and reserved to herself. 5. she expects and waits the long day to finish quicker and her husband to come so that she can share her day's feelings and relate to him how she spent whole day in await for him, dealing with the family members etc. etc. 6. as she finds none to share her loneliness and to accommodate her to assimilate in the family, she mostly being in the company of mother in-law and sisters-in-laws who generally take side with the mother and prefer to leave her alone, get clubbed with the mother to talk against and/or to criticise her amongst themselves and enjoy. 7. being a stranger, she by all means feels compelled to talk to her mother and narrate the hardships she is put to, by getting her married to such a house. This conversation goes on, lesser time is given to the new family whether they are willing or not, to find an excuse and taunt her in some manner or other. It also converges into talk about her family, celebrations of marriage, gifts and/or present she has brought for each one, etc, etc, 8. mother-in-law who is the master of the house, though wishes, but does not encourage her to take her role,as such she feels neglected etc. 9. mother in-law is not bothered whether the daughter-in-law is working or not, how much she is tired in her work and travel, she thinks of her burden and expects the daughter-in-law to get to kitchen and keep food ready by the time each one comes.She as such is not comfortable with the work entrusted, nor being given free time to be with her husband when he comes, to talk and share conversation about her whole day work and enjoy with him as she wants to be free and alone. HUSBAND; 1. alas feels sandwitched between his family and the wife. 2. how to find time for the wife when he is to do office work etc. alone and none to share, . 3. grievances and problems crop more than the enjoyment and happiness he had expected to follow after marriage turns into gloom and despair. 4. finds it hard to cope with the aspirations of his wife, burden and hardship of work-place and the members of the family etc. These are the major factors while there could be many unending ones, in brief, she feel uprooted, being a stranger to the family, dreams turn into illusions by the conditions, behaviour of the family, and MORESO BY THE BEHAVIOUR OF THE HUSBAND maybe these are under pressure of work or irritation with his family members and/or his preference to be with the family than to be with her.