ROLE OF WIFE AND HUSBAND HAS GONE A DRASTIC CHANGE. IN EARLIER TIMES, WAS THE WIFE COERCED TO SEEK OBEDIENCE OR WAS THERE A WELL CHALKED OUT DIVISION OF WORK, IS THE POINT OF DISCUSSION. IN MY VIEW, IT WAS MOSTLY DIVISION OF WORK THAN USING COERCION BY HUSBAND HERE AND THERE. COERCISION WAS RESORTED TO DUE TO CONFLICT WITH MEMBERS OF HER HUSBAND, MOSTLY WITH MOTHER IN-LAW AND MANY A TIME NOT RESPECTING THE VIEWS AND/OR DECISIONS OF HER HUSBAND. ESSENTIAL TO MENTION, THIS DISOBEDIENCE WAS RARE AS GIRL FROM THE VERY START WAS MADE TO UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN SHE WILL GET ADULT, SHE IS TO GET MARRIED AND IS TO ANOTHER FAMILY, WHO WILL BE USED TO LIVE AND RUN THEIR HOUSE AND DEAL WITH EACH OTHER IN THE MANNER CONVENIENT TO THEM, MOSTLY IN OBEDIENCE OF THEIR ELDERS, IT SHALL THEREFORE BE ESSENTIAL FOR HER TO BEHAVE AND ADJUST WITH THE SYSTEMS, TRADITIONS AND RULES AND REGULATIONS OF HER FUTURE IN-LAWS AND, AND THAT THE PARENTS NEVER WANTED THAT EVER COMES COMPLAINT TO THEM BY THEIR DAUGHTER’S IN-LAWS AND SHE AS SUCH NEEDS TO ADJUST WITH THE IN-LAWS FAMILY IN ALL MANNERS AND IN ALL RESPECTS. IN EXTREME, THE GIRL WAS TOLD THAT AFTER MARRIAGE, TO LIVE GOOD LIFE OR THE WORST, WILL HER OWN ROLE AND THAT PARENTS IN SUCH SITUATIONS WILL REMAIN HELPLESS, CURSING THEIR OWN FATE. IT WAS THUS DUE TO THE TRAINING GIVEN BY THE PARENTS, GIRL USED TO REMAIN OBEDIENT, RARE WERE THE CASES OF CONFLICTS AND COERCION AS GIRL COULD NEVER LOOK BACK TO HER PARENTS, AND THAT THE GIRL WAS GETTING MARRIED IN FIRM BELIEF TO DO OR DIE SHALL REMAIN HER DUTY AND MISSION AND DO ALL NOT TO DISTURB HER PARENTS. AT PRESENT, ALL HAS CHANGED, ALL HOUSEHOLD ARDUOUS JOBS HAVE BEEN REPLACED BY MECHANICAL DEVELOPMENTS AND BY OUTSIDE SERVICE PROVIDERS, EDUCATION OF THE GIRLS HAS BECOME VERY IMPORTANT FOLLOWED BY SEEKING JOBS AND WORKING IN OUTSIDE WORKPLACES. CO-EDUCATION HAS SET IN, TRAVEL BY GIRLS ALONG WITH BOYS AND COLLEAGUES HAS BECOME NECESSARY, WHICH HAS CREATED THE ATMOSPHERE FOR THE GIRLS TO BE ACCEPTED AND TREATED AS EQUALS, WORKING OUTSIDE HAS GIVEN TO THE GIRLS THE FEELING AND STRENGTH NOT AND NEVER GET AFRAID OF BOYS, MOVE IN THE SOCIETY FEARLESSLY AND ALSO INDEPENDANTLY AS EARNING MEMBERS OF THE FAMILY. BESIDES SOCIAL MEDIA AND SOCIAL ORGANISATIONS HAVE WORKED A LOT GET THE LAWS PASSED TO ENSURE EMPOWERMENT OF WOMEN. THUS, BOTH BOYS AND GIRLS NOW COMPETE WITH EACH OTHER IN ALMOST ALL SPHERES OF WORK AND IN QUITE MANY PLACES, THE GIRLS DO EXCEL THE BOYS IN TESTS, EXAMINATIONS AND IN PERFORMANCE ETC. IT IS SAID NOTHING IS PERFECT, ALL CHANGES, TO START WITH, SEEM TO BE MARVELOUS AND AS TIME PASSES, THE BENEFITS GET DEGENERATED AND DO NECESSITATE TO UNDERTAKE CHANGES FITTING TO THE NEED OF THE HOUR. THUS, THIS EQUALITY PERCEPTION AND FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE HAVE GIVEN BIRTH TO DIVORCES, WHICH ARE ON INCREASE MORE AND MORE, TOLERANCE IS GONE, STRESS AND STRAIN OF WORK, TRAVEL, RELATIONSHIPS HAVE BECOME THE COMMON CAUSE TO LEAD TO DISCUSSIONS, COUNTER REPLIES, STICKING TO ONE’S OWN VIEWS ETC. ETC. I AM OF THE VIEW THAT GIRL INSTEAD, NOW HAVE BECOME CHOOSY AND THEY MAKE THEIR OWN CHOICE WITH WHICH BOY TO GET INTO WEDLOCK, HOW AND IN WHAT MANNER, AND AS SUCH THE ROLE OF THE PARENTS IN BOTH THE FAMILIES HAS BECOMES MOSTLY INSIGNIFICANT UNTIL AND UNLESS ADVICE IS SOUGHT FOR BY THE BOY OR GIRL CONCERNED. BESIDES, UNWANTED ADVICE AND PERCEPTION OF THE PARENTS ARE FELT BOTH BY THE BOY AND THE GIRL AS UNNECESSARY INTERFERENCE BY PARENTS IN THE CHOICE AND LIKING OF THEIR CHILDREN. NOW THAT DIVISION OF WORK, COERCISION HAVE BEEN REPLACED BY EQUALITY, UNDERSTANDING, SHARING AND CARING AS EQUAL PARTNERS AND NOT OTHERWISE IN ANY MANNER, BECAUSE OF PHYSICAL STRENGTH AND/OR FINANCIAL DEPENDENCE AND SUPPORT. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. Views expressed and narrated by vasdevloond, founder of marriage guidance new concept, cost Free marriage bureau NGO, to contact vasdevloond at 9811943867 vasdevloond@gmail.com www.marrigeguidance.in www.facebook.com