SOLUTIONS TO MOTHER IN-LAW AND DAUGHTER IN-LAW FEUDS 5-9-20


05 September 2020 11:29

MOTHER-IN-LAW AND DAUGHTER IN-LAW'S FEUDS..SOLUTIONS; 1. husband has necessarily to be DECISION MAKER as otherwise problems will aggravate and get uncontrollable. 2. must PRIORITISE WIFE over his parents and family members, as those who do not believe in it and/or do not do it suffer themselves so also his parents when extremes happen. 3. must not FORGET HIS COMMITMENT TO HIS WIFE IN PUBLIC that he will remain ALWAYS loyal to her, remain her protector against all odds and do all to ensure her A HAPPY AND GLORIOUS LIFE, perhaps better than what she had been living in so far, hence I GARLAND you to embrace you with all these commitments and now take you to my house to fulfill my commitments. 4. the husband is required to SIDE WITH HIS WIFE in preference to his mother, and family members. 5. never to think or pronounce SHORTCOMINGS in her unless she is got fully adjusted and settled with him in the best relationship in conversation and understanding, as otherwise it may misfire and in provocation she may dare to find fault(s) with him as well. 6. as a son and member of his family, it is much easier to explain to his parents and family members than his wife, and as such if he postpones and prolongs his conversation and decision, both to his parents and wife, he will be aggravating the situation, perhaps to develop to such an extent that it gets not retrievable and uncontrollable. 7. it is possible that all the members of his family get together to warn him that if he accedes to his wife's desires and compulsions, she will always be overpowered and dictated throughout his life, which could turn out to be unacceptable and develop into conflicts with her. Hence this is PRE-WARNING to be STRONG AND BEHAVE AS A HUSBAND whereby she is to accept and obey you as you wish. In such circumstances, if he feels inclined to his parents advice, it is ESSENTIAL that he does act in a manner which in anyway hurts his wife, more as conciliatory than as a dictator. 8. if his explanations and persuasions do not work, it will be BETTER for him to shift to MICRO UNIT along with his wife, overbearing the shocks and regrets as to how his parents will feel and bear with this situation. 9. ESSENTIAL husband must get involved with the problems and must LOOK TO ANSWERS/SOLUTIONS, MUST DO ALL TO SAVE HIS MARRIAGE AND MARRIED LIFE, EVEN IF HE IS TO FOREGO HIS EGO as in married life there is no win-win situation, it is for PEACE AND HAPPINESS which needs understanding, caring and sharing and feeling the pain equal or more to himself/herself . 10. Howsoever hard and unbearable circumstances these may, he must be cautious NOT NOT TO INDULGE IN BRUTALITY, ABUSING, ACCUSING AND THRASHING HIS WIFE as such an an action besides legal consequences, might lead to RUPTURE OF RELATIONSHIP FOR EVER. WIFE 11. . must understand the COMPULSIONS of her husband, keep patience, engage in discussions with open mind to understand her husband's compulsions, reflect on answers and suggest SOLUTIONS, easier it will be if she puts herself in his husband's situation, which will enable her to understand and possibly lead to reconciliation. 12.She should and must NOT INVOKE HER FAMILY to interfere in her problems with her in-laws and even with her husband as otherwise her parents will get hurt and possibly get into conflicts, accusations and perhaps justifiably to take her to their house, resort to take revenge, take to courts, engage into fights, lodging complaints with the police and even indulging in killings and murders. 13. I feel if a girl narrates everything to her mother etc. or encourages her mother etc. to remain all the time in touch and in conversation with her, PROBLEMS ARE BOUND TO HAPPEN TO UPROOT HER RATHER THAN TO ENABLE HER TO SETTLE DOWN IN HER NEW HOUSE and to develop understanding with her in-laws and her husband.THE GIRL SOON AFTER SHE GETS MARRIED, MUST LEARN TO GET DETACHED FROM HER HOUSE AND DO HER BEST TO SETTLE DOWN WITH HER HUSBAND AND HIS FAMILY. 14. I also feel that WOMAN HAS GREAT ART to observe, understand, she is emotional, has beauty and all charms, has immense quality of patience etc. etc. IF SHE WISHES AND IS DETERMINED SHE CAN MOULD HER HUSBAND IN THE MANNER SHE WANTS, man is nothing if the WIFE USES ALL HER INBORN AND ACQUIRED QUALITIES, she can change her husband as she wants. 15. she must believe that howsoever her husband is, UNLESS THERE ARE EXTREMES IN HABITS, BRUTALITY, DISLOYALTY AND EXTRA-MARRITAL RELATIONSHIP ETC, she must do all to settle down in her husband's house and/or with her husband anywhere and never think of separation and divorce which are hard and criminal to face afterwards. 16. it is also possible that instead of taking situations to extremes, she may discuss that her husband allows her to go to her parents , to take some rest and get over the shocks of sufferings, if it so happens, I believe the husband will be inclined to see his wife, be with her and in-laws and as such the situation could possibly calm down. 17, she is supposed to create a happy and healthy atmosphere and avoid questioning her husband if time to time he comes late, never to doubt or create doubt and be sure NOT TO HURT THE EGO OF THE HUSBAND if he feels that he is being doubted, he might flare up, gets into anger and gets into ego etc. etc. I am told that even looking into mobile of each other enrages the couple, they get into fights and justification. I believe and vehemently advise that WHEN ONE IS HONEST, why should one fear if the husband or wife picks the cell of the other and even sees into it to enjoy or vanish his/her curiosity. HENCE ALL SUCH FLIMSY SITUATIONS MUST BE AVOIDED, INSTEAD ALL EFFORTS ARE DIRECTED TO BUILD UP FAITH AND TRUST. 18. CAUTION; never never the wife should get back to her parents UNLESS SHE IS DECIDED TO BREAK THE WEDLOCK, in such a situation also I would suggest that she must read and know fully all the consequences of such a step leading to separation and divorce also problems attached to it. shall be glad to invite comments so that this subject gets complete in all situations and perhaps divorces, which are current these days, could be avoided. vasdevloond, founder and owner of Marriage Guidance New Concept vasdevloond@gmail.com 9811943867.MOTHER-IN-LAW AND DAUGHTER IN-LAW'S FEUDS..SOLUTIONS; 1. husband has necessarily to be DECISION MAKER as otherwise problems will aggravate and get uncontrollable. 2. must PRIORITISE WIFE over his parents and family members, as those who do not believe in it and/or do not do it suffer themselves so also his parents when extremes happen. 3. must not FORGET HIS COMMITMENT TO HIS WIFE IN PUBLIC that he will remain ALWAYS loyal to her, remain her protector against all odds and do all to ensure her A HAPPY AND GLORIOUS LIFE, perhaps better than what she had been living in so far, hence I GARLAND you to embrace you with all these commitments and now take you to my house to fulfill my commitments. 4. the husband is required to SIDE WITH HIS WIFE in preference to his mother, and family members. 5. never to think or pronounce SHORTCOMINGS in her unless she is got fully adjusted and settled with him in the best relationship in conversation and understanding, as otherwise it may misfire and in provocation she may dare to find fault(s) with him as well. 6. as a son and member of his family, it is much easier to explain to his parents and family members than his wife, and as such if he postpones and prolongs his conversation and decision, both to his parents and wife, he will be aggravating the situation, perhaps to develop to such an extent that it gets not retrievable and uncontrollable. 7. it is possible that all the members of his family get together to warn him that if he accedes to his wife's desires and compulsions, she will always be overpowered and dictated throughout his life, which could turn out to be unacceptable and develop into conflicts with her. Hence this is PRE-WARNING to be STRONG AND BEHAVE AS A HUSBAND whereby she is to accept and obey you as you wish. In such circumstances, if he feels inclined to his parents advice, it is ESSENTIAL that he does act in a manner which in anyway hurts his wife, more as conciliatory than as a dictator. 8. if his explanations and persuasions do not work, it will be BETTER for him to shift to MICRO UNIT along with his wife, overbearing the shocks and regrets as to how his parents will feel and bear with this situation. 9. ESSENTIAL husband must get involved with the problems and must LOOK TO ANSWERS/SOLUTIONS, MUST DO ALL TO SAVE HIS MARRIAGE AND MARRIED LIFE, EVEN IF HE IS TO FOREGO HIS EGO as in married life there is no win-win situation, it is for PEACE AND HAPPINESS which needs understanding, caring and sharing and feeling the pain equal or more to himself/herself . 10. Howsoever hard and unbearable circumstances these may, he must be cautious NOT NOT TO INDULGE IN BRUTALITY, ABUSING, ACCUSING AND THRASHING HIS WIFE as such an an action besides legal consequences, might lead to RUPTURE OF RELATIONSHIP FOR EVER. WIFE 11. . must understand the COMPULSIONS of her husband, keep patience, engage in discussions with open mind to understand her husband's compulsions, reflect on answers and suggest SOLUTIONS, easier it will be if she puts herself in his husband's situation, which will enable her to understand and possibly lead to reconciliation. 12.She should and must NOT INVOKE HER FAMILY to interfere in her problems with her in-laws and even with her husband as otherwise her parents will get hurt and possibly get into conflicts, accusations and perhaps justifiably to take her to their house, resort to take revenge, take to courts, engage into fights, lodging complaints with the police and even indulging in killings and murders. 13. I feel if a girl narrates everything to her mother etc. or encourages her mother etc. to remain all the time in touch and in conversation with her, PROBLEMS ARE BOUND TO HAPPEN TO UPROOT HER RATHER THAN TO ENABLE HER TO SETTLE DOWN IN HER NEW HOUSE and to develop understanding with her in-laws and her husband.THE GIRL SOON AFTER SHE GETS MARRIED, MUST LEARN TO GET DETACHED FROM HER HOUSE AND DO HER BEST TO SETTLE DOWN WITH HER HUSBAND AND HIS FAMILY. 14. I also feel that WOMAN HAS GREAT ART to observe, understand, she is emotional, has beauty and all charms, has immense quality of patience etc. etc. IF SHE WISHES AND IS DETERMINED SHE CAN MOULD HER HUSBAND IN THE MANNER SHE WANTS, man is nothing if the WIFE USES ALL HER INBORN AND ACQUIRED QUALITIES, she can change her husband as she wants. 15. she must believe that howsoever her husband is, UNLESS THERE ARE EXTREMES IN HABITS, BRUTALITY, DISLOYALTY AND EXTRA-MARRITAL RELATIONSHIP ETC, she must do all to settle down in her husband's house and/or with her husband anywhere and never think of separation and divorce which are hard and criminal to face afterwards. 16. it is also possible that instead of taking situations to extremes, she may discuss that her husband allows her to go to her parents , to take some rest and get over the shocks of sufferings, if it so happens, I believe the husband will be inclined to see his wife, be with her and in-laws and as such the situation could possibly calm down. 17, she is supposed to create a happy and healthy atmosphere and avoid questioning her husband if time to time he comes late, never to doubt or create doubt and be sure NOT TO HURT THE EGO OF THE HUSBAND if he feels that he is being doubted, he might flare up, gets into anger and gets into ego etc. etc. I am told that even looking into mobile of each other enrages the couple, they get into fights and justification. I believe and vehemently advise that WHEN ONE IS HONEST, why should one fear if the husband or wife picks the cell of the other and even sees into it to enjoy or vanish his/her curiosity. HENCE ALL SUCH FLIMSY SITUATIONS MUST BE AVOIDED, INSTEAD ALL EFFORTS ARE DIRECTED TO BUILD UP FAITH AND TRUST. 18. CAUTION; never never the wife should get back to her parents UNLESS SHE IS DECIDED TO BREAK THE WEDLOCK, in such a situation also I would suggest that she must read and know fully all the consequences of such a step leading to separation and divorce also problems attached to it. I FEEL IT IS DAUGHTER IN-LAW AS NEW ENTRANT TO HUSBAND'S HOUSE NEEDS TO STUDY THE ATMOSPHERE OF THE HOUSE ESPECIALLY BEHAVIOUR OF MOTHER IN-LAW AS ALSO OF HER HUSBAND, BE PATIENT AND VIGILANT, CARE NEVER TO BEHAVE OR UTTER ANY WORDS WHICH COULD AGGRAVATE THE SITUATION, IT IS SIMILAR TO AS SHE WOULD HAVE FACED IN SCHOOL, COLLEGES, WORK-PLACE ETC AND WOULD HAVE ADJUSTED WITH COLLEAGUES ETC. TO STUDY AND/OR TO CARRY ON IN WORK-PLACE AND AS IN THOSE PLACES, SITUATIONS CAME TO NORMAL, THERE IS EVERY POSSIBILITY THAT IN HUSBAND'S HOUSE SITUATION COULD TURN TO NORMAL. tks