feuds in families 16-11-20

16 November 2020 06:45

HOW COULD FEUDS IN FAMILIES, COUPLES REGARDING DOWRY, ASSETS ETC. COULD BE AVOIDED; I think, after great deliberations, what I am suggesting hereunder will go a long way to reduce the above evils and surely help to live a happier married life. LOVE MARRIAGE IS THE BEST, MUST BE CELEBRATED IN CEREMONIOUS MANNER AS IN ARRANGED MARRIAGE(children are to persuade the parents about their decision and consent to celebrate the marriage as ceremoniously as possible as per the means of the family as this shall satisfy parents about their reputation and enable them to fulfill their dream by inviting the relations, intimate friends and prominent personalities if they wish so), DECIDED IN ADVANCE MARRIAGE BY SEPARATION(which means whatever the assets as given by girl's parents girl will remain with her and whatever are of the boy's shall remain to him and whatever they will earn together, will belong to them both -THUS GREED AND DEMAND AS ALSO FEUDS ABOUT IN-LAWS ASSETS BEING GIVEN TO EITHER OF THEIR OWN SON OR DAUGHTER will reduce many conflicts), and DECIDED IN ADVANCE BY BOTH BOY AND GIRL TO LIVE IN MICRO UNIT(this decision will help the boy and girl to take time to adjust by themselves without any interference and criticism by in-laws especially by mother in-law as it generally happens, will motivate boy and girl and also their families to furnish the micro unit as bought or rented by the boy and girl, expectation and demand for dowry will almost vanish which generally happens by the parents of the boy as in this case as nothing is to come to them except to ensure that boy's parents are fully respected, given due importance,dressed up as best as they wish and/or the boy and girl wish their parents to look elegant, maybe some gifts and/or small bits of jewellery etc., relations between the 2 families will smoothen to enable them to buy together, discuss about functions together etc.etc. HENCE THE RELATIONS BETWEEN 2 FAMILIES WILL TURN OUT TO BE OF UNDERSTANDING AND ACCOMMODATION WHICH WILL HELP THE BOY AND GIRL AFTER MARRIAGE TO LIVE THEIR LIFE BY THEMSELVES, IN MANY WAYS SUPPORTED THAN DISTURBED BY CONFLICTS AND CRITICISM ETC. Further the couple may decide to get to boy's house if not earlier, perhaps at the time of pregnancy of their daughter in-law or may the parents from either side are called to live with them, as the couple will wish and decide). I shall be glad to invite suggestions, tks vasdevloond 2nd part love marriage is not the panacea, it seems to be better answer as most of the problem are experienced in advance in day-to-day meets, conversations, behaviours, house visits observations and solutions discussed and finalised etc. etc. In addition to this MICRO UNIT is another answer which enables husband and wife to settle among themselves without interference by members of both the families, further it also allows the husband and wife to discuss and settle each other's attitude and behaviour and also dealing with respective families. There are many other reasons to cause feuds like 1. misunderstanding, 2. change of attitude of husband after marriage 3. undisclosed habits, working compulsions, undisclosed liabilities etc and/or emerging ones after marriage etc. etc. Love marriage and Micro unit are some of the answers to dilute feuds which can happen any time when tolerance is lost or ignore and tit for tat is considered to be the best answer. HUMAN BEVIOURS IN LIFE CHANGE BY THE PASSAGE OF TIME FOR GOOD OR BAD WHICH DEPEND ON OUTSIDE HAPPENINGS AND NON-ADJUSTMENT AMONG THE COUPLE. tks