MOTHER’S DIALOGUE AND ADVICE TO HER DAUGHTER BEFORE HER DAUGHTER’S MARRIAGE -IT IS NATURAL, EVERY GIRL PASSES THIS PHASE OF FEAR AND HAPPINESS -HAPPINESS IN THE SENSE THAT SHE IS GETTING MARRIED -WORRIED BECAUSE SHE WILL BE STEPPING INTO UNKNOWN AS TO HOW HER HUSBAND WOULD BEHAVE AFTER MARRIAGE HOW HER MOTHER IN-LAW AND REST OF THE MEMBERS -WHAT WILL BE THEIR WAY OF LIFE AND WHAT WILL BE THEIR ATTITUDES ETC. ETC. -BESIDES THAT THE GIRL WOULD HAVE SEEN AND LEARNT BY PARTICIPATION IN VARIOUS MARRIAGE CELEBRATIONS, FUNCTIONS ETC. HOW HER GIRL FRIENDS AFTER MARRIAGE ARE BEING TREATED, WHETHER THESE ARE HAPPY, WORRIED OR IN CONFLICTS AND WOULD HAVE COME ACROSS SO MANY OTHER INSTANCES AS WELL -BESIDES HER KNOWLEDGE AND OBSERVATION ABOUT THE DEALINGS AND RELATIONSHIP OF HER GIRL FRIENDS WITH THEIR HUSBANDS AND IN-LAWS, SHE DOES FEEL CERTAIN THAT ONE NEEDS TO MARRY AND HAS TO MARRY AT ALL COST AND IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES. IT IS NATURAL THAT WHEN ONE IS TO LEAVE ONE’S HOUSE WHERE SHE HAS GROWN FROM CHILDHOOD TO THE PRESENT AND HAs ENJOYED LOVE AND LOVELY UPBRINGING, SHOCK AND WEAPING DO HAPPEN AND BECOME UNCTROLLABLE DESPITE THE FACT THAT ONE IS GETTING MARRIED AND SHALL ENJOY LOVE WHICH SHE HAS BEEN WANTING AND CRAVING FOR; HENCE THE ROLE OF MOTHER BECOMES MOST IMPORTANT TO CONSOLE HER DAUGHTER, NARRATETO HER, HER OWN EXPERIENCE WHEN SHE GOT MARRIED, AND TO ADVISE AS TO HOW HER DAUGHTER MUST BEHAVE TO ENJOY HER MARRIED LIFE; THUS HEREAFTER MOTHER TAKES HER DAUGHTER TO A SEPARATE CORNER AWAY FROM HER HUSBAND AND OTHER MEMBERS OF THE HOUSE, AND STARTS DIALOGUING WITH HER DAUGHTER; SHE TELLS HER DAUGHTER THAT SHE FACED THE SAME SITUATION AS YOU ARE IN BUT I MANAGED AND MANAGED WELL AS YOU HAVE SEEN IN OUR RELATIONSHIP AS HUSBAND AND WIFE, WE LOVE EACH OTHER, CONSULT EACH AND RESPECT EACH OTHER, WITHOUT EVER THINKING OF EQUALITY, GENDER BIAS, WHY HE HAS BEHAVED IN THIS MANNER AND THAT HE SHOULD NOT HAVE, SO ON AND SO FORTH, ALL IS FORGOTTEN AND OVERLOOKED IN LOVE AND LOVE ALONE FOR EACH OTHER. NOW I WILL TELL YOU AS TO HOW TO BEHAVE WHEN YOU STEP INTO YOUR HUSBAND’S HOUSE: 1. PRIORITISE YOUR HUSBAND, OFFER HIM EVERYTHING WHAT HE NEEDS AND IS USED TO, WITHOUT EVEN HIS ASKING AND DEMANDING. ALL IS GOT READY BEFORE TIME WHICH COULD GENERALLY CONSIST OF 1. PREPARING HIS BREAKFAST 2. PREPARING HIS CLOTHES HE IS TO WEAR 3. KEEP THE TIFFIN READY 4. GIVE A SMILE AND PERHAPS A KISS BEFORE HE STEPS OUT 5. WISH HIM TO ENJOY BEST OF THE DAY FRUITFULLY AND SUCCESSFULLY. BELIEVE ME, ONCE HE IS COMFORTABLE AND HAPPY, THE 1ST STEP OF YOUR MARRIED LIFE YOU WOULD HAVE ACHIEVED. 2. NOW THE 2ND IMPORTANT MEMBER TO HANDLE IS THE MOTHER IN-LAW WHO WILLINGLY OR UNWILLINGLY, CONSCIOUSLY OR UNSCIOUSLY, COULD START GRUMBLING, ACCUSING ETC. ETC. IN ANSWER TO THAT IT IS ESSENTIAL 1. LISTEN PATIENTLY 2. GRUMBLE NOT NOR FEEL IRRITATED 2. OBSERVE, ANALYSE WHAT ARE THE REASONS AND WHY MOTHER IN LAW IS BEHAVING LIKE THIS 4. WHAT COULD BE THE ANSWERS AND HOW YOU COULD NOT ONLY RELIEVE HER BUT COMFORT HER. HER TIREDNESS AND GRUMBLING MAY PERHAPS BE BECAUSE SHE IS TO ENSURE THAT HER SON AND ALMOST ALL MEMBERS OF THE HOUSE LEAVE HAPPILY FOR THEIR WORK AND THAT ALL THEIR REQUIREMENTS ARE READY AS PER EACH ONE’S CHOICE AND AS PER EACH ONE’S LIKING, THUS YOU MUST, BY ALL MEAN, SHARE HER RESPONSIBILITIES FOR EXAMPLE: 1. CUTTING AND KEEPING ALL VEGETABLES ETC. READY 2. CLEAN UP THE KITCHEN AND KEEP EVERYTHING HANDY FOR YOUR MOTHER IN-LAW TO COOK IN THE MANNER SHE WANTS 3. SET THE TABLE FOR EATING 4. BRING IN THE COOKED MEALS TO THE TABLE 5. BE AVAILABLE TO EVERYONE IF THEY NEED ANYTHING EXTRA OR MAYBE SOMETHING THEY HAVE NOT LIKED 6 IF SUCH A SITUATION HAPPENS, ASK IF POSSIBLE WHAT THE CONCERNED PERSON NEEDS OR LOOK BACK AT HIS HABITS AND BRING IN SAME ON THE TABLE TO RELISH, ENJOY THE BREAKFAST AND LEAVE HAPPILY. - ONCE ALL HAVE LEFT, IT IS BUT NATURAL THAT THE MOTHER-IN WILL BEING FEELING TIRED AND PERHAPS A BIT TENSED. PLEASE SEIZE THAT MOMENT, SIT BY HER SIDE, START MASSAGING AND ENGAGE IN SOME LIGHT TALK AND PLEASANTRY OF HER LIKING. - PLEASE BE CONSCIOUS AND IN FULL CONTROL OF YOURSELF POSSIBLY SHE WILL NARRATE MANY THINGS FOR AND AGAINST HER CHILDREN, RELATIONS, ABUT DAUGHTERS’ IN-LAWS AND ALSO ABOUT YOUR PARENTS. IN ANSWER TO THAT 1. PLEASE LISTEN, KEEP PATIENCE IN THE SENSE AS IF YOU HAVE NOT LISTENED BUT DO ENSURE THAT YOU GIVE REPLY TO HER AS AND WHEN SHE DESIRES SO, AS OTHERWISE SHE WILL FEEL THAT YOU ARE NOT BOTHERED ABOUT HER. 2. DO REMEMBER THAT OLD LADIES GENERALLY GRUMBLE NEED SOMEONE TO LISTEN TO THEM, HEAR THEM PATIENTLY. APPRECIATING AND NEVER CONTRADICTING EVEN THE LEAST, 3. MOTHER IN-LAW ALSO WISHES THAT WHEN SHEGETS TO SHOPPING HER DAUHTER IN-LAW ACCOMPANIES HER. PL DO ENSURE WHATEVER SHE BUYS, APPRECIATE THAT, PERHAPS YOU COULD HELP IN CHOOSING AND SELECTING SOME AMONGST MANY, AND IF YOU HAVE MONEY. WHICH I WILL RECOMMEND, YOU MUST, PAY FOR THAT BUY TO MAKE HER FEEL COMFORTABLE, RELIEVED AND HAPPY. 4. MOTHER IN-LAW ALSO WANTS THAT TIME TO TIME SHE IS OFFERED SOME GIFTS IF NOT BEFORE, ON SPECIAL FUNCTIONS CERTAINLY, IN SUCH CASES, WE SHALL OF COURSE WILL BE TAKING CARE AND IF FOR SOME REASON SHE IS NOT HAPPY WITH THESE GIFTS, PLEASE TAKE HER TO SHOPPING AND BUY HER WHAT SHE WANTS. REMEMBER WHEN ONE IS OLD, NEEDS ARE VERY LITTLE, AND THE BUYS BY HER ARE MOST PRUDENT AND CHEAPTER ONES AS WELL. 5. BESIDES MOTHER IN-LAW, IT IS POSSIBLE THAT THERE MAY BE CONFLICTS, SHOUTS AND ABSUSES AMONGST THE MEMBERS OF THE FAMILY.MANAGE TO GET AWAY FROM SUCH SCENE AND GET BUSY IN SOME ACTIVITY OR OTHER. HOWEVER, IF EVER YOUR VIEWS ARE ASKED FOR, YOU MUST NOT INDULGE IN NOR GIVE YOUR OPINION, AS ANYTHING SAID, POSSIBLY MAY BE LIKED BY SOME AND DISLIKED BY OTHERS, IN CONSEQUENCE THE THE BLAME AND ACCUSATIONS WILL SHIFT TOWARDS YOU, FORGETTING HOW THEY WERE BEHAVING AMONST THEMSELVES. PL IN NO MANNER INVOLVE YOURSELF IN THEIR CONFLICTS, THEY MAY BE FIGHTING NOW AND MAY BE BY NEXT MOMENT, THEY ALL BE TOGETHER. THE BEST ANSWER WILL BE NEITHER I KNOW WHAT IS THE MATTER, WHAT ARE THE REASONS FOR SHOUTING AND FIGHT, NEITHER YOU HAVE SEEN THESE NOR YOU THINK I AM CAPABLE TO THINK AND SAY SOMETHING ABOUT IT. 6. MY DEAR DAUGHTER, INITIAL STAGE OF MARRIAGE IS MOST DIFFICULT AS ONE IS NEW TO THE HOUSE, ALL ALONE EXCEPT THE HUSBAND, NEEDS TIME TO OBSERVE THE WORKING, ATTITUDE OF EACH MEMBER OF THE HOUSE, DOES ALL TO KEEP THE HUSBAND ON HER SIDE, DOES ALL TO WIN OVER THE MOTHER IN-LAW, THERE IS NO DOUBT, IN FEW DAY AND/OR FEW MONTHS YOU WILL BE CONSIDERED “JEWEL” OF THE HOUSE AND TREATED AS SUCH IN APPRECIATION AND LOVE. IN SHORT. PLEASE 1. KEEP PATIENCE 2. NEVER FEEL IRRITATED OR AGGRIEVED AT ALL 3. KEEP HAPPY FACE AND BEHAVIOUR ETC. ETC. IN HOPE AND BELIEF THAT ONCE THIS STAGE OF HITS AND TRIAL IS PASSED THROUGH, THE REST OF LIFE IS YOURS, YOU WILL BE REIN OF THE HOUSE AND FINALLY YOU WILL BE THE OWNER OF THE HOUSE, YOUR FAMILY AND EVEN YOUR HUSBAND WILL TURN DEPENDENT UPON YOU FOR ALL HIS CARE AND WELL-BEING. - NEVER FORGET IF YOU COULD MANAGE IN YOUR SCHOOL AND COLLEGE WITH ALL TYPES OF STUDENTS, WHY YOU SOULD NOT BE ABLE TO MANGE IN YOUR HUSBAND’S HOUSE. PL DO KEEP HOPE, WILL, DETERMINATION, USE YOU FACULTY OF OBSERVATION AND PATIENCE AND SAIL IN LIFE SMOOTHLY, PERHAPS SOME DISTURBANCES MIGHT BE COMING HERE AND THERE, IN THE SAME MANNER, AS WAVES FLYING HIGH IN THE SEA, AND WITHIN NO TIME GET BACK TO THE SEA AND GET SUBMERGED AS IF NOTHING HAD HAPPENED. - BELIEVE, LOVE AND CONSTRUCTION BRING IN HAPPINESS, GROWTH AND PROGRESS IN HOUSE WHILE ON THE CONTRARY, CONFLICTS RESULT IN DESTRUCTION AND LOSS OF EVERYTHING. - TO LIVE A HAPPY MARRIED LIFE MUST REMAIN YOUR GOAL, ANSWERS WILL ALWAYS COME ABOUT IF YOU WILL KEEP CONFIDENCE IN YOU, IN YOUR WITS AND ABIKITIES AND SHALL REMAIN DETERMINED TO WIN OVER HOW HARD AND CUMBERSOME THE PROBLEMS MAY COME ABOUT. WITH THESE WORDS, DEAR DAUGHTER, I WISH YOU GOOD LUCK. I AM SURE YOU ARE INTELLIGENT AND PRUDENT ENOUGH TO HANDLE THE SITUATIONS ASTHESE SHALL ROLL ABOUT. WITH MY HEARTIEST LOVE AND HUG TO THE TILT OF MY HEART. PS HOW THE GIRL TURNS OUT JEWEL OF THE HOUSE, I SHALL ANSWERING IN THE NEXT WRITE UP. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… By vasdevloond, founder of marriage guidance new concept, cost free marriage bureau, founded in 2015. Contacts vasdevloond 9811943867 vasdevloond@gmail.com